#23 Say Goodbye

This cover isn't too bad. Granted, Todd and Elizabeth both have majorly poufy hair, but hey it was the 80's!

It's happening. The tragic, the inevitable, the absolute worse thing that has ever happened to Sweet Valley!

Todd is moving to Vermont 'sobs'.

Okay, you got me. I don't really care. Actually, I'm pretty thrilled because it means there will be no Liz and Todd drama in the upcoming books! Woohoo! This book should have been annoying, (A whole book about Elizabeth missing Todd? Barf.) It wasn't, thanks to Jessica's disastrous matchmaking efforts.

Now, Jessica is often attempting to play matchmaker, (or couple breaker-upper), but this time, she's a professional. Yes, dear readers, our selfish Jessica got a job! Jess ran up a $100 bill at Lisette's, and amazingly the Wakefield parents make her to get a job to pay for it. Hell has officially frozen over! Jess gets a job at a matchmaking company, answering phones...but we know that's not all she's going to do! (Where can I get a job like this? )

So Todd leaves, and Liz is a total mess. She writes to him every day and spends all of her free time pining over him and waiting for him to call. Everyone from Enid to her parents discourage her from having a long distance relationship with Todd, but she refuses to listen. It's almost enough to actually make me feel bad for Liz....almost. The important part is, Todd is gone! If I had more than one friend, I'd throw a party to celebrate.

Jessica is having her own problems though. And by problems, I mean that Jessica has a problem with Steve not dating anyone, and Liz moping over Todd. How dare they not go on dates with different people every weekend? The absolute nerve!

Jessica sets out to solve these troubling issues in the only way Jessica can, by scheming and sneaking around. When her boss steps out, Jess sneaks into her private office and starts going through all of the dating profiles to find the perfect woman for Steve, until her boss catches her. Does the boss fire her? Reprimand her? Oh no, of course not. The incredibly understanding boss actually gives Jess the keys to the office and invites her to look through the profiles anytime she wants. (seriously, how can I get this job?!)

Lucky Steven! Now our dear Jessica can find the perfect woman for him. Except Steven does not want her help-at all. He makes that pretty clear early in the book:
"Do me a favor, Jess. Don't help me again! I'm probably better off on my own."
Jessica completely ignores this, thinking to herself:
"He's so good looking"
Jessica decides that super hot Steve doesn't know what's good for him, and that by "don't help me", he meant "please Jessica, help me find a date!"

But wait, Liz needs Jess's help too! Jessica starts talking to Nicholas Morrow (you may remember him as the guy that guilted Liz into going on a date with him) Jess convinces Nic that Liz needs someone new in her life, and that new person is him! She compares Liz's love of Todd to smoking, telling Nic: "She got really dependent on him, and now she's having withdrawal symptoms"
Trust me Jess, cigarettes are much more exciting than Todd Wilkins.

Jessica even enlists the help of Mr. Collins, convincing him to give Liz an assignment to write a story on the upcoming sailing competition-which Nicholas is going to be competing in! With Jessica's encouragement, Nicholas calls Liz and offers her a ride to the competition. Elizabeth agrees, telling herself that Nic doesn't like her like that anymore, and that it's just a friendly gesture. Right.

This "friendly gesture" quickly turns romantic when Nicholas tells Liz that his boat has two names: the public name, Seabird and the private name, My favorite twin.
Gee, don't come on too strong or anything, Nic.

Liz is both uncomfortable and intrigued. Is Jessica's plan actually working? Guess so, because Liz agrees to go to a BBQ for Nic's cousin, Jeffrey. Jess "considered falling in love with him for a wild moment", but decided against it because Jeffrey is not rich. You dodged a bullet, Jeff!

Jess's plan is definitely not working with Steve, possibly because she picked a random 43 year old woman and didn't tell Steve that she was setting him up. She tells this poor woman that Steve was chosen for her by the matchmaking service, and instructs her to call Steve. Steve is totally confused and declines going on a date with her. This doesn't deter Jessica, who finds another woman from the matchmaking service, and tells her to show up at their house on Saturday.

How desperate are these women? If a matchmaking service told me to show up at some random guy's house without even speaking to him beforehand...well I might say yes, because I'm pretty desperate right now.

But let's get back to Elizabeth's dilemma. Despite all of the obvious signs that Nicholas wants more, Liz somehow convinces herself that he just wants to be friends. She even goes to a movie with him, and he kisses her after! Gasp, what would Todd think?! Well, being the doormat that he is, Todd would probably think "It's ok, I'll take you back".

Liz isn't sure about seeing Nicholas again, until Todd suddenly stops calling and writing for a week. After only a week, yes a week, of not hearing from Todd, Liz decides to start dating Nicholas. Jess is already fantasizing about what will happen when Liz and Nic get together, picturing the Morrow family naming a wing in their house "the Jessica wing" after her. Because people name things after you when you set them up with the amazing Elizabeth Wakefield.

But why did Todd disappear? You know this has something, (okay, everything), to do with Jessica! Jess answers the phone one day when Todd calls, and literally cries about how depressed Liz is, how she never leaves her room and is slacking on her schoolwork. Todd feels horrible and decides to back off. So instead of talking it over with Liz, he just ignores her. Smart.

Why does anyone in SVH still trust Jessica?! She's been proven to be a liar time and time again. Really, were they all dropped on their heads as babies?

Speaking of stupidity, the woman from the matchmaking service shows up at the house-and SHOCKER, Steven is not interested! Steve finds out that she's from the matchmaking service, that Jess works at, and is super angry. Naturally, Jessica's reaction is to set Steve up with one more woman from the agency, Melissa . Buttt when she tries to badger this woman into dating Steve, her response is " I've decided I prefer food to men." Good move, Melissa.

Don't worry too much about Steve's love life though (I know it was your top concern). Steve runs into Cara Walker when she's stuck with a flat tire on the highway. He helps her out, takes her to coffee after, and sparks fly! Cara's parents are getting divorced, and that has apparently made her less shallow and more appealing to Steve. Now I can rest easy, knowing that Steve will love again.

However, Betsy (you may remember her from Promises) is not pleased with this. She sees Steve with Cara at Lila's party, (did I mention there was a party? Well, there is.), and gets angry. She's pissed that Steve has "the nerve to carry on with someone else so soon after Trish". Hey, at least he waited a good 11 books to start dating again after Tricia's death. I mean, has she seen how quickly everyone else in SVH moves on from relationships???

As for Todd and Liz, Todd is back in town, (damn, already?), for the weekend. Todd's going to Lila's party to talk to Elizabeth. Problem is, Liz is going to the party with Nicholas! Uh oh! Liz wants to break things off with Nic because she still loves Todd, but she figures it would be best to do it after the party. After all, parties are SO rare in Sweet Valley, and she wouldn't want to mess up this party for Nic! As you may have guessed, things go bad. Todd walks in to see Liz slow-dancing with Nicholas and resting her head on his shoulder. The second she sees Todd, Liz pushes Nic away and runs after him. I'd feel bad for Nicholas, but I'm still not over how annoying he was in this book. No sympathy for you, Nic!

Todd stomps away and Liz has a major emotional breakdown. Elizabeth finds Todd, and
they have yet another sappy reunion-well kind of. They agree that they're still in love, but that they can't maintain the long-distance thing. Good, now we can stop hearing about Todd for the next few books. Dreams do come true!

We wrap up the book with Lila telling the twins that Betsy made a scene at her party. Former town tramp Betsy went up to Steve and Cara and freaked out, accusing him of forgetting about Tricia. Will Betsy stand in the way of Steve and Cara's budding love story?!? I'm dying to find out, and I know you are too!

Moral? If your boyfriend moves to Vermont, don't even bother with the long distance thing-especially if your boyfriend is anywhere near as dull as Todd Wilkins,
Don't use your matchmaking job to set your brother up with random women!
Good, solid life lessons. Thanks again, Sweet Valley!

Special Christmas

It's almost Christmas, so I'm doing this book a little early (actually I just don't have the next book, Too Much in Love yet, and I'm bored. Shhh.).

Jessica appears to be doing some type of dance while squinting one eye, and the color of her shirt is a really icky shade of pink. Elizabeth has her standard barrettes, and both twins have these odd half-surprised, half stoned looks on their faces.
This is the first of many Christmas-times to come in SVH (and they're all in one junior year, in typical time-is-irrelevant SVH fashion). This Super Special takes place a few months after Todd has moved to Vermont (Say Goodbye ) and Todd is coming back to visit all of his friends and Liz for the holidays. For some reason, Elizabeth has to make herself a nervous wreck over "where she and Todd stand" and what to get him for Christmas. Gosh, even when we think Todd is gone, they find some way to include Liz and Todd drama.

But there's really no reason to even bother with the tired Elizabeth and Todd Saga, because the real excitement is the news that Alice and Ted drop on their kids before Christmas break starts...
Suzanne Devlin is spending vacation with them!

For those who don't know who Suzanne is, she is the gorgeous daughter of some random rich friends of Ned and Alice that live in New York. Last time she came for a visit, she falsely accused Mr. Collins of sexually assaulting her, stole Elizabeth's lavaliere necklace, and was just all-around super fake bitch in Too Good To Be True.

When they get the news that the she-devil is back, Steve, Jess and even doormat Liz are all against her coming, and loudly object. The only excuse Ned and Alice have is that "she insisted". But there seems to be something more about Suzanne's visit then they are letting on.

The three of them dub themselves the "terrible trio" (SO lame) and start thinking of ways to keep Suzanne from coming and ruining their vacation. As if they don't get enough vacations. First plan is to have Elizabeth call Suzanne and try to convince her not to go. Suzy absolutely insists on coming out there and making things right, and gushes about how sorry she is, so that plan's a big fail.

The "terrible trio" comes up with another plan, they'll run Suzy out of town! And how will they do this, you ask? Simple, act like assholes towards her and ignore her until she realizes how unwelcome she is and leaves. Liz wimps out pretty quickly when she notices that Suzy seems sick, and is civil to her.
Jessica enlists the help of Aaron Dallas and others to torment Suzanne with mean "presents", such as notes with the letters all cut out from newspapers saying "SUZY DEVLIN GO HOME". Geez, guess she really rubbed some people the wrong way.

Jessica was in New York visiting the Devlins (and trying to steal Suzanne's boyfriend at the time, with bad results) during Suzanne's visit and never met her, but heard everything that happened while she was gone. Never mind that in the end of Too Good To Be True, Liz tells Jess nothing about what happened. Guess someone told her, 'cause even though she's never met the girl, she already hates her and is ready to make her time in Sweet Valley hell.

There's a dumb little side-story with all of SVH doing this "secret Santa" thing.  I've never heard of an entire school doing this. Maybe a class, but the whole school? Anyway, this results in some pretty lame displays and gifts, such as Enid's secret Santa Bill Chase having the whole swim team, (including himself), serenade her at the Dairi Burger. Or one of Lila's gifts, an issue of vogue with a ribbon around it left on her doorstep.

Oh, and Jessica is super sure that her secret Santa is sexy exchange student Hans (who?) but it's Winston Eggbert. Haha. Turns out Lila got Hans. Hans is a one hit wonder, never to be seen at SVH again.

A not-so-interesting plot twist, turns out Suzanne and Todd met in Vermont ,(where Todd now lives), when she was on vacation and they hung out for a little while. Todd has asked Suzanne not to say anything to Liz, and he's been acting weird around Suzy since she got there.

Elizabeth can sense that she and Todd aren't the way they used to be, and is ready to accept the end of their relationship. I'm sure we're all ready for that. She confides in good old Enid, and Enid's response is:

"Boy, it's kind of hard to imagine you and Todd having problems. You always seemed like the dream couple to me."
Really, Enid? No, seriously? Is she blind?

Our darling schemer Jess comes up with another plan, this time involving Aaron Dallas. Suzanne had left Aaron a message earlier, saying she wanted to take him out for lunch and apologize for her past behavior. Jessica gets Aaron to call her back and invite her to a fake party at an abandoned address in the middle of nowhere. Jess is sure this will send Suzanne running home. Liz has the standard Elizabeth Wakefield heart-to-heart with Suzanne, decides that old Suzy isn't so bad, and convinces Jess to back off.

 Butttt just as Jessica is about to cancel the Aaron Dallas scheme, she hears Suzanne and Todd chatting on the phone. She decides that Suzy only came out there because she knew Todd would be there, and she's planning to steal him from Liz! Jess is furious, because only she is allowed to steal men from her twin.

So the plan is back on!

Suzy drinks some champagne (!) with Todd and the "terrible trio". She then gets a call from Aaron telling her that she has to drive down to meet him. Suzy hesitates, but ends up taking the Fiat down to what she thinks is a party (or dance, or something? I wasn't paying attention). One minor detail here, Suzanne just happened to start taking a new medication that night. Since her doctor didn't answer her call, she assumes one drink with it is fine. But dun dun dunnn...it's not!

There's a call from the doc and all hell breaks loose. Suzanne can't even have one drink on this new medication or she might DIE! OMG. (side note-is that possible? To die from one drink mixed with a medication? I'm genuinely curious.) The Wakefields rush off to find her, and of course Jess moans about how guilty she feels. Sound familiar? Along the way we learn that Suzanne has Multiple Sclerosis and didn't want anyone to know because then they would feel obligated to forgive her.

We end up at the hospital, where Suzanne is recovering from a car crash brought on by the med and alcohol mixing. Suzy is mostly fine and she gets apologies from the twins and everyone else. Then something big happens-Suzanne doesn't have MS! She actually has some kind of central nerve infection that they mistook for MS. The Sweet Valley swim team sings 'Silent Night' and all is well. I cry tears of joy.

Oh and Todd Like Likes Suzy. And she Like Likes him back! Liz is totally cool with all of this, and everyone's happy. I don't think Todd and Suzanne's romance, (or Suzanne, period) ,are ever mentioned again.

There's also some kind of sorta-B story that ends with Jessica tricking Lila into passing out candy to kids dressed as an Elf (wearing a green trash bag, no less). I can't think of a worse punishment....Jessica is a truly evil person. Oh, the humanity!

Moral of Special Christmas? Christmas comes approximately 25 times a year if you live in Sweet Valley! Also, Christmas is the ideal time to apologize to all of the people you accused of sexual assault, stole from and lied to. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, SVH!

Sweet Valley board game

So this is probably one of the most...inappropriate board games I've ever played. Yeah inappropriate, that's the word. Also pretty confusing. The point of the game, (I think?), is to get all of your "items". These "items" which are cards on the classroom spaces that have pictures of random stuff like a bicycle or dress on them. Every player has one big card that has a pic of the boyfriend and four pictures of the card items you're supposed to collect. There are up to four players, and you can be Elizabeth, Jessica, Lila, or Enid (yawn.). My friend picked Jessica and I went with Lila.

Confused yet? Yeah. Basically you just roll the dice and travel around and around the board in circles, picking up playing cards and item cards. The playing cards say fun things such as, "You let the maid have the day off." "Trade boyfriends with whoever you want" .

Me and my friend literally "switched boyfriends" about 50 times, because it seems like every card we picked up involved that. So much for variety. The boyfriends are Ken Matthews, Todd Wilkins, Bruce Patman and Winston Eggbert (wtf?).

Todd is of course on Liz's card, Bruce on Jessica's, Ken on Lila's, and Winston on Enid's. Clearly whoever designed this game didn't read the books, since Winston and Enid hardly even talked, let alone dated. Lila and Ken were never together as an actual couple, they just went to dances together once in awhile. (correct me if I'm wrong, my memory sucks sometimes)

But I guess it doesn't matter what guy's pic is on your big card, all that really matters is that you have a boyfriend card, (great lesson for young girls), and all of your item cards to win. I collected all of my item cards and won, probably because a few of the item cards were missing, and they happened to be the Jessica cards my friend would've needed. to win. But what matters is, I WON, dammit.

So the moral lesson in this game is that you NEED a boyfriend (doesn't really matter who!), to win at life I guess? And that people like me will blow money on anything SVH related, no matter how much it sucks.

Deceptions #14

Ok, this book....I mean really. What. The. Heck. You know I usually love my SVH, but this one was awful. Not in a funny typical SVH way..it was just annoying. Definitely not my favorite.

The rail thin plot involves a  hot new rich guy, Nicholas Morrow, who just moved into town. Nicholas saw Liz at her welcome-home-from-your-kidnapping-now-let's-forget-it party. He of course fell madly in love with her, because...it's Elizabeth. One big issue with this is that Jessica has decided that she and Nicholas are meant to be. I know you saw it coming.

Nicholas badgers Elizabeth about going on just one date with him, to see if anything's there, even though he knows she has a longtime boyfriend. Even more ridiculous, Liz actually feels obligated to go out with him just to give him a chance...even though she has a boyfriend that's she's supposedly in love with. How can they keep acting like Todd and Liz are sooo in love and "steady", when she's on another guy in like half the books? Agggh...

So, I'm sure you see where this headache of a book is going. Elizabeth doesn't tell anyone of her upcoming date with Nicholas, and they go to an out-of-the-way expensive restaurant that she knows she won't see anyone from Sweet Valley in.

Except Todd is there for his parent's anniversary (I thought romantic anniversary dinners didn't include the kids? ) He sees Liz and Nicholas! She pretends to be Jessica and gets away with it, until Todd stops by to see Liz at the Wakefield house, and runs into Jess. Ooops. He lets Jessica know that Elizabeth is having dinner with Nicholas, and she hits the roof, because he was her boyfriend!! Even though they haven't gone out on even a single date, or anything...

She confronts Liz when she gets home, and forgives her about 5 minutes later when she explains that she was pressured into going out with Nicholas and has no feelings for him. Jessica suddenly decides that she doesn't care because Nicholas isn't that awesome anyways and he works too much. Right.

But there's still the problem of Todd. Will he ever forgive Elizabeth? Oh em gee! You know he does. Todd is playing in a basketball game and performing badly because all he can think about is Liz. Nicholas has a heart-to-heart with him at halftime of a basketball game, (he finally realized pressuring Liz to leave her man and date him was wrong. Finally.), and Todd comes back and plays better than ever.

After the game, he catches up with Liz, (she was there to do a story for the Oracle), and they have the usual Todd and Elizabeth mushy reunion. Ugh.

The sub plot- Jessica cons nerd Randy Mason, (he was her partner for a project in Electronics class), into hacking into a school computer and changing her math grade. Randy feels all super guilty about it, and decides to go turn himself in to Principal Cooper. Elizabeth finds out about this, and insists that Jessica goes with him. Cooper lets them off easy, because Elizabeth gives him some sappy speech about how Jess and Randy learned their lesson and won't do it again. He doesn't even give them a detention because Liz is that awesome. Very effective punishment, Mr. C.

The moral of this awful story? Don't coerce people into going on dates with you, it won't work out. Don't make nerdy kids hack into a computer to change your grades. They'll rat you out.

Dear Sister #7

I like this cover, except Jessica doesn't look that super upset to me. But it's a good picture and Jessica looks way better then she does on many of the other covers.
Well, the ghostwriter sure doesn't keep us in suspense long.Elizabeth awakes from her coma after 12 pages, and is strangely concerned about her outfit and how she looks, rather then the fact that she just woke up from a coma. Jess is a little thrown off when Liz starts flirting with the doctor, and ignores her boyfriend Todd, but convinces herself that Liz is just a little shaken up from the accident.

Now the fun part starts! Jessica and Elizabeth basically switch places. Liz turns into mega-tease, dropping Todd, and going after every boy that breathes. They have a party for Elizabeth's homecoming, and Liz actually suggests that they just invite guys and forget about all the girls. I guess waking up from that coma made her a bit boy-crazy?

They have the party (girls included), and Jessica gets stuck with all the grunt work, replacing food and watching Liz flirt with everything in the room. Todd is humiliated by Liz at this party, watching her hang all over every guy except him.

Jessica takes on Elizabeth's dootmat role, and ends up cleaning up after the party by herself because Liz suddenly got a "headache" and had to go upstairs. It finally starts to click for Jessica that Elizabeth is acting just like Jess usually acts.
"If she's Jessica," she agonized "then who am I?"
Well we definitely can't have two Jessicas! I don't think anyone wants that.

Jessica keeps Elizabeth's irrational behavior to herself and doesn't tell her parents, which is pretty dumb, since this is obviously some kind of medical side affect from the accident, and Liz could probably use some medical attention.

The ever responsible Wakefield parents volunteer to watch their friends, the Percys, kids, a set of 12 year old twins (how nice, more twins!), and then leave Jess and Liz alone with the twins to go play bridge (ooh those partiers!).

Elizabeth and Jessica both have dates, but agree they'll figure out something because someone needs to be home with the Percy twins. Liz slips out and leaves Jessica alone-therefore stuck with the twins. Jessica is super pissed because she had a date with Danny Stauffer, and the front seat in Danny's car slides back AND reclines! No really, that is actually what she told Liz, I couldn't make this up.

So Jess is forced to drag the Percy twins along with her and Danny (I'm not sure why she didn't just cancel the date?), and of course it doesn't go so well. As Jessica tells her parents when they get home,
"Danny couldn't talk to me. I couldn't talk to him. It was the worst date of my entire life"
I'd have to disagree there Jess. Your date in All Night Long with Scott  was much, much worse. And since when does she talk much on her dates?

She's mad at Liz, but quickly forgives her since she's now the doormat of the Wakefield family. Elizabeth continues to act like a cat in heat, and poor Todd is confused and has no idea what her problem is.

Everyone pretty much leaves the care of the Percy twins to Jessica, since she's now the responsible twin, and she ends up having to shuttle them around all day. She then gets a ticket, gets into a fender bender, and catches Danny with another girl at the beach!

But maybe things will get better for Jessica, because Lila has a fabulous party coming up!It's a costume party mixed with a "pick-up party", so everyone comes dressed up in a costume and....flirts with eachother. The book describes it like this:

"A lot of girls at Sweet Valley High who thought they were going steady found themselves without boyfriends after one of Lila's pick-up bashes, and a lot of girls who wanted to get rid of guys did it that night"
Nice.

Lila's pick-up parties are another thing you never hear about again after this book, unfortunately. I would have liked to see more of those parties! Liz flirts like a crazy women, and all the girls start to get irritated with her for getting all over every guy. Funny, a lot of those girls don't complain much when Jessica does it.

Liz starts dancing with Bruce Patman of all people, and suddenly decides she sooo into him.They go on a little drive to Bruce's father's club and park. Bruce feeds her alcohol like the gentleman he is, and promises Liz ,while kissing her neck, "I'll take care of more then your neck" Ooh Bruce you know just how to turn a girl on.

Todd arrives just in the nick of time and punches Bruce out, then throws Liz's drunk ass into his car to go home. Liz calls him a "party pooper" and passes out. Hehe.

Surfer Bill Chase has suddenly decided he's in love with Elizabeth, (boy they really toss the word "love" around don't they?),  and gets Todd's permission to ask her out (poor Todd!). She says yes, and proceeds makes a date with Bruce soon after forgetting all about her date with Bill. She runs off with Bruce, and Jessica greets Bill at the door and decides to pretend to be Elizabeth, because "why not?" Okay...

Bruce and Liz end up at Bruce's fabulous mansion, where Bruce tells her
"Let's go upstairs, I'll show you what love is all about:"
Like I said, they really throw the word "love" around in  Sweet Valley.

In the meantime, Jessica is out with Bill, and decides this is her opportunity to get revenge on Bill, because he had the nerve to turn her down when she asked him out a little while ago. The absolute nerve of him! She's going to make him fall in love with her. Even though she's posing as her sister, who he's already "in love" with. Seems like a solid plan.

Back to Liz and Bruce. Bruce leaves the room, and Elizabeth trips and hits her head, suddenly snaps out of her Jessica-phase, and has no idea where she is or how she got there. This is no fun for Bruce, because when he gets back she's flipping out and demanding to leave. Bruce is so not having that!
"Oh no, you don't. You're going to give me what I want, what you promised"
What can I say? The man takes a promise seriously.

When Bruce tries forcing her, Liz bites him, (and it's kind of awesome), and Bruce is "whimpering and in no mood to cause any more trouble". Elizabeth tells him off
"Is that what all your big love stories are about, Patman? Taking advantage of girls who either don't know what they're doing, or are too drunk to care?"
Yup, you got it Liz!

Liz runs out of the house and finds Todd, and they have a touching reunion. All of Elizabeth's previous behavior is long forgotten and everythings perfect in Todd and Liz world again.

Surprisingly, Jessica's plan to make Bill fall in love with her works. She asks him if he loves her and what's so special about her, (he still thinks she's Liz), and after he answers her she informs him:
"Then you do love Jessica Wakefield, Bill, because that's who I am!"
Yeah..

Next book up is Heartbreaker, where we will be treated to more of the Jessica and Bill love saga.

Dangerous Love #6

To me, Todd looks like a 35 year old European guy on this cover, not an all-American basketball star. Liz isn't at her most attractive here either.

If you couldn't tell already, Todd got his motorcycle! He even got a pink helmet especially for Elizabeth. But as I mentioned in the previous recap, there is a big rule against motorcycles in the Wakefield family due to the death of cousin Rexy in a motorcycle accident.

But instead of just telling Todd that like a normal person, Elizabeth has to make things way complicated by making up excuses not to get on Todd's bike and hiding the real truth. It's really annoying and it drove me nuts that she couldn't just tell him.

Finally, Liz tells Todd the truth, and being the perfect boyfriend he is, he's super understanding about it. He assures her that he would never choose a bike over her, and everything seems to be cool. Not for long!

Liz sees other girls (only her two close friends, actually) riding on the back of  Todd's bike. She knows she has no reason to be jealous (especially considering that Todd doesn't seem to have sexual urges at all) but she is anyway. It's the one thing they can't share! Boo hoo.

Jessica pops in every now and then to hint to Liz that Todd and his "death machine " motorcycle are a waste of time and to find a new boy toy. Naturally Jess has her  own boy toy , and this time it's random filler-character Danny Stauffer, who drives a red trans-am. Sexy.

I also have to mention that class clown Winston gets a chick in this one, there's a brief mention of him and random character Mandy Farmer dating. They met in some kind of save the whales club or something and discovered they both looove whales! Good for you Win. Hope he gets over Jessica- it's about damn time.

So Elizabeth is still uneasy about the whole motorcycle thing, and worried about Todd's safety because we all know anyone who gets on a bike is 90% likely to get in a major crash, at least according to this book.

Enid Liz's boring BFF, is having her 16th birthday party soon, and she pops up every now and then in the book to bitch about how her mom is going through all this trouble to make sure she has a really nice well-organized party. Wow, what an awful mother.

Enid's cousin Brian is coming into town for the event, and Jessica immediately starts begging Liz to make Enid introduce them, because Jessica must date absolutely every guy that comes through Sweet Valley. Enid is not having this, since Jess has screwed her over in the past (like pretty much everyone else Jessica has come into contact with). Liz persuades her even though she shouldn't, and Jessica gets her way.

The 16th birthday party finally happens, and Jess shows up with Brian on her arm, Danny a distant memory. Elizabeth comes alone since she can't ride on Todd's bike. Todd is supposed to show up, and never does. The party pretty much starts to wind down, and Jessica runs up to Miller's Point with Brian to rub up against him and makeout. She's supposed to come back for Liz, but she gets to caught up in dry humping to notice or care much. Gotta love the sisterly bond!

Elizabeth is still waiting at the party, and Todd finally shows up. He tells her that he's selling his motorcycle to high school drop out Crunch McAllister because he loves her and yada yada yada. Everythings's super romantic, and then Elizabeth suddenly gets a crazy urge to get on the bike. It's going to be sold tomorrow anyways, so why not? Todd relents, and they take a wild ride through Sweet Valley, until....

Crash!!! A drunk Crunch McAllister slams into Todd and Elizabeth. Todd comes out with just a few scratches, but Liz is in a coma! Jessica finds out and dramatically blames herself for not coming back to get her sister from the party. Alice and Ned are devastated and angrily blame Todd for letting Liz get on the bike. Mr. Collins, (the English teacher who's a little too close to his students), shows up, and has one of his inspirational keep-your-head-up chats with Todd.

Alice and Ned relax a little and stop blaming Todd, realizing that Liz really wanted to get on the motorcycle and he couldn't have stopped her. Because Liz is just always so head strong and stubborn and not a push -over whatsoever. Right...

So we conclude with Elizabeth in the coma and Jessica at her side praying that she'll wake up. Will she? I'm gonna take a wild guess and say yes, but we don't know for sure until the next book, Dear Sister.

No real B story in this one, just a few pages at the end of the book telling us a little more about Mr. Collins. Apparently his wife was a no-good cheating alcoholic that tried to kidnap their son at one point, and he still doesn't trust her. Yeah sounds like he shouldn't. She must have given up on getting her son back though, since we never hear about her again.