#23 Say Goodbye

This cover isn't too bad. Granted, Todd and Elizabeth both have majorly poufy hair, but hey it was the 80's!

It's happening. The tragic, the inevitable, the absolute worse thing that has ever happened to Sweet Valley!

Todd is moving to Vermont 'sobs'.

Okay, you got me. I don't really care. Actually, I'm pretty thrilled because it means there will be no Liz and Todd drama in the upcoming books! Woohoo! This book should have been annoying, (A whole book about Elizabeth missing Todd? Barf.) It wasn't, thanks to Jessica's disastrous matchmaking efforts.

Now, Jessica is often attempting to play matchmaker, (or couple breaker-upper), but this time, she's a professional. Yes, dear readers, our selfish Jessica got a job! Jess ran up a $100 bill at Lisette's, and amazingly the Wakefield parents make her to get a job to pay for it. Hell has officially frozen over! Jess gets a job at a matchmaking company, answering phones...but we know that's not all she's going to do! (Where can I get a job like this? )

So Todd leaves, and Liz is a total mess. She writes to him every day and spends all of her free time pining over him and waiting for him to call. Everyone from Enid to her parents discourage her from having a long distance relationship with Todd, but she refuses to listen. It's almost enough to actually make me feel bad for Liz....almost. The important part is, Todd is gone! If I had more than one friend, I'd throw a party to celebrate.

Jessica is having her own problems though. And by problems, I mean that Jessica has a problem with Steve not dating anyone, and Liz moping over Todd. How dare they not go on dates with different people every weekend? The absolute nerve!

Jessica sets out to solve these troubling issues in the only way Jessica can, by scheming and sneaking around. When her boss steps out, Jess sneaks into her private office and starts going through all of the dating profiles to find the perfect woman for Steve, until her boss catches her. Does the boss fire her? Reprimand her? Oh no, of course not. The incredibly understanding boss actually gives Jess the keys to the office and invites her to look through the profiles anytime she wants. (seriously, how can I get this job?!)

Lucky Steven! Now our dear Jessica can find the perfect woman for him. Except Steven does not want her help-at all. He makes that pretty clear early in the book:
"Do me a favor, Jess. Don't help me again! I'm probably better off on my own."
Jessica completely ignores this, thinking to herself:
"He's so good looking"
Jessica decides that super hot Steve doesn't know what's good for him, and that by "don't help me", he meant "please Jessica, help me find a date!"

But wait, Liz needs Jess's help too! Jessica starts talking to Nicholas Morrow (you may remember him as the guy that guilted Liz into going on a date with him) Jess convinces Nic that Liz needs someone new in her life, and that new person is him! She compares Liz's love of Todd to smoking, telling Nic: "She got really dependent on him, and now she's having withdrawal symptoms"
Trust me Jess, cigarettes are much more exciting than Todd Wilkins.

Jessica even enlists the help of Mr. Collins, convincing him to give Liz an assignment to write a story on the upcoming sailing competition-which Nicholas is going to be competing in! With Jessica's encouragement, Nicholas calls Liz and offers her a ride to the competition. Elizabeth agrees, telling herself that Nic doesn't like her like that anymore, and that it's just a friendly gesture. Right.

This "friendly gesture" quickly turns romantic when Nicholas tells Liz that his boat has two names: the public name, Seabird and the private name, My favorite twin.
Gee, don't come on too strong or anything, Nic.

Liz is both uncomfortable and intrigued. Is Jessica's plan actually working? Guess so, because Liz agrees to go to a BBQ for Nic's cousin, Jeffrey. Jess "considered falling in love with him for a wild moment", but decided against it because Jeffrey is not rich. You dodged a bullet, Jeff!

Jess's plan is definitely not working with Steve, possibly because she picked a random 43 year old woman and didn't tell Steve that she was setting him up. She tells this poor woman that Steve was chosen for her by the matchmaking service, and instructs her to call Steve. Steve is totally confused and declines going on a date with her. This doesn't deter Jessica, who finds another woman from the matchmaking service, and tells her to show up at their house on Saturday.

How desperate are these women? If a matchmaking service told me to show up at some random guy's house without even speaking to him beforehand...well I might say yes, because I'm pretty desperate right now.

But let's get back to Elizabeth's dilemma. Despite all of the obvious signs that Nicholas wants more, Liz somehow convinces herself that he just wants to be friends. She even goes to a movie with him, and he kisses her after! Gasp, what would Todd think?! Well, being the doormat that he is, Todd would probably think "It's ok, I'll take you back".

Liz isn't sure about seeing Nicholas again, until Todd suddenly stops calling and writing for a week. After only a week, yes a week, of not hearing from Todd, Liz decides to start dating Nicholas. Jess is already fantasizing about what will happen when Liz and Nic get together, picturing the Morrow family naming a wing in their house "the Jessica wing" after her. Because people name things after you when you set them up with the amazing Elizabeth Wakefield.

But why did Todd disappear? You know this has something, (okay, everything), to do with Jessica! Jess answers the phone one day when Todd calls, and literally cries about how depressed Liz is, how she never leaves her room and is slacking on her schoolwork. Todd feels horrible and decides to back off. So instead of talking it over with Liz, he just ignores her. Smart.

Why does anyone in SVH still trust Jessica?! She's been proven to be a liar time and time again. Really, were they all dropped on their heads as babies?

Speaking of stupidity, the woman from the matchmaking service shows up at the house-and SHOCKER, Steven is not interested! Steve finds out that she's from the matchmaking service, that Jess works at, and is super angry. Naturally, Jessica's reaction is to set Steve up with one more woman from the agency, Melissa . Buttt when she tries to badger this woman into dating Steve, her response is " I've decided I prefer food to men." Good move, Melissa.

Don't worry too much about Steve's love life though (I know it was your top concern). Steve runs into Cara Walker when she's stuck with a flat tire on the highway. He helps her out, takes her to coffee after, and sparks fly! Cara's parents are getting divorced, and that has apparently made her less shallow and more appealing to Steve. Now I can rest easy, knowing that Steve will love again.

However, Betsy (you may remember her from Promises) is not pleased with this. She sees Steve with Cara at Lila's party, (did I mention there was a party? Well, there is.), and gets angry. She's pissed that Steve has "the nerve to carry on with someone else so soon after Trish". Hey, at least he waited a good 11 books to start dating again after Tricia's death. I mean, has she seen how quickly everyone else in SVH moves on from relationships???

As for Todd and Liz, Todd is back in town, (damn, already?), for the weekend. Todd's going to Lila's party to talk to Elizabeth. Problem is, Liz is going to the party with Nicholas! Uh oh! Liz wants to break things off with Nic because she still loves Todd, but she figures it would be best to do it after the party. After all, parties are SO rare in Sweet Valley, and she wouldn't want to mess up this party for Nic! As you may have guessed, things go bad. Todd walks in to see Liz slow-dancing with Nicholas and resting her head on his shoulder. The second she sees Todd, Liz pushes Nic away and runs after him. I'd feel bad for Nicholas, but I'm still not over how annoying he was in this book. No sympathy for you, Nic!

Todd stomps away and Liz has a major emotional breakdown. Elizabeth finds Todd, and
they have yet another sappy reunion-well kind of. They agree that they're still in love, but that they can't maintain the long-distance thing. Good, now we can stop hearing about Todd for the next few books. Dreams do come true!

We wrap up the book with Lila telling the twins that Betsy made a scene at her party. Former town tramp Betsy went up to Steve and Cara and freaked out, accusing him of forgetting about Tricia. Will Betsy stand in the way of Steve and Cara's budding love story?!? I'm dying to find out, and I know you are too!

Moral? If your boyfriend moves to Vermont, don't even bother with the long distance thing-especially if your boyfriend is anywhere near as dull as Todd Wilkins,
Don't use your matchmaking job to set your brother up with random women!
Good, solid life lessons. Thanks again, Sweet Valley!

SVH #22 Too much in love

Well Bill and DeeDee look...mature for sixteen. Did anyone ever think to make the teens on the covers look like, I don't know teens? Me and my crazy ideas! Also, Bill looks like a pompous ass and DeeDee looks like a desperate wreck. I'm thinking that's going to set the tone for this book...

We start this great American novel with the usual "sun-streaked blonde hair" and "sparkling blue-green eyes" spiel and Ned announcing that he and Alice are going to Mexico to pick up documents from a lawyer. Clearly it's impossible for someone to mail something from Mexico to California. Impossible, I tell you!

Alice makes a point of telling the twins that she has some very important papers she has on her desk in the study. These papers are plans for some interior designer project and they cannot be replaced. So you know something bad is going to happen to those papers.

SVH is having a talent show soon, and Elizabeth is involved in planning it, (surprise, surprise). Liz calls up DeeDee Gordon to ask her to be in charge of designing the sets. Like all SVH books that feature minor characters in the main story, we need some kind of connection between the twins and said minor character. DeeDee acts kind of weird and says she needs to ask Bill before she commits to it. Liz spends about a page and a half fretting over DeeDee, wondering if she's alright, because Liz is the sensitive, caring twin dammit! And don't you ever forget that! (I may have had a bit too much caffeine this morning)

Speaking of acting weird, Todd is also behaving strangely. Now why would that be? If you've read
this , you already know.

Being a psychic, I know exactly what you're thinking. Why is DeeDee acting strange? What's going on? The suspense is killing me! Fear not, on the next page we start to find out. DeeDee shows up at Bill's house unexpectedly, and horror of horrors, he's at the library! Without her! But it's not just that incident. DeeDee has felt Bill pulling away from her for the past few weeks. It terrifies her because her parents got divorced, and according to her mother the divorce was caused by them not spending enough time together. DeeDee vows that this will not happen to her relationship with Bill.
And I quote: "Bill needs to see how much I depend on him, how much I need to be with him. Once he see's that, he'll never leave me"

Bad idea DeeDee. Not that I would know, from experience, or anything.....

We also learn, (in a convo with her BFF, Patty Gilbert), that DeeDee has given up the design classes she was taking. She doesn't want anything to interfere with her precious Bill time. She wonders to herself why Patty, who is independent and outgoing, is still friends with her. I want to make fun of Dee, (and rest assured, I will) , but I gotta say, I feel bad for her. I've been that clingy girlfriend, and it is not a good time. But enough about my problems, because....

..Jessica Wakefield is planning a party! And who cares about my issues when a party is about to happen in Sweet Valley?!? Liz is aghast at the idea- Jessica wants to have a party when their parents are gone? Who woulda thought???!? I can't wait! SVH parties are the only parties I get invited to, so I am beyond excited.

Meanwhile, DeeDee continues to be a clingmonster ,(it's a medical term), and Bill is more and more turned off. She follows him everywhere, and acts more like an obsessed stalker than girlfriend. Like many SVH books, it is almost painful to read, and I am embarrassed for her. Poor Bill is totally confused and wonders what happened to his formerly cool girlfriend. He agrees to go to a movie with Dana Larson (just as friends), and decides not to tell DeeDee because he knows she'll freak out. This is not going to end well.

Back to the party!!!! (Can you feel my excitement?) Jessica enlists none other than Lila Fowler's help with party planning, and Lila is full of great suggestions, such as inviting college frat guys. Inviting frat boys to your house is always a fabulous idea. Thanks, Lila! Jess agrees and imagines meeting the man of her dreams "handsome, rich, with a gorgeous car". Not just a nice car, but a gorgeous car. Reach for the stars, Jess.

In preparation for the party, Jessica attempts to make mini pizzas and wash the bed sheets, resulting in a fire in the kitchen and a broken washing machine. Any guesses as to why she needed to wash the bed sheets for a party? I can think of a few, but I'm trying to keep this blog PG. (ok, maybe PG-13)

In the midst of all of this exciting party planning, Jess runs into Bill and Dana Larson leaving the movie theater and practically jumps for joy. Finally, a chance to get back at DeeDee for what happened in this book ! Jess casually lets it slip to Dee that Bill was out with another girl, and of course DeeDee flips out. She corners Bill, and Bill responds by breaking up with her. Bet you didn't see that coming!

The break up is utterly devastating. I cried, I sobbed, I called in sick to work. That's how hard it hit me. Dee takes it better than I did, and after one attempt to get back together with Bill, she begins to heal and regain her self-esteem. She has an epiphany of sorts, and realizes how crazy she's been acting. She finally gets all the way back to normal thanks to Patty's scheming (for once, Jessica is not the one scheming! How novel.) Patty, with Elizabeth's help, cooks up a plan to force DeeDee to become independent again. Basically, Liz fakes sick so DeeDee is forced to take control of the talent show. This plan totally works and DeeDee's confidence comes back. In typical Sweet Valley fashion, DeeDee's issues are totally resolved within days.

Now that DeeDee is okay, it's time to party!! Yes, the party we (I), have been waiting for is finally here.

Brief summary: 19 frat guys show up, and SHOCKER, they bring beer! Frat guys bringing beer to a party? So odd. Some random Pi Beta sorority sister gets drunk, beer is spilled on Alice's important papers (I told you something would happen to the papers! Psychic.) The neighbors call the cops, and Jessica is about to be taken down to the station, when big bro Steve shows up and saves the day. So all in all, a good party! I know I had a great time.

Jessica swallows her pride and goes to the artistic DeeDee to help her fix Alice's papers. She even apologizes to DeeDee for telling her about Bill and Dana-and get this,-it's a genuine apology! Don't get too worried, I'm sure Jessica's trademark selfishness will be back in the next book. DeeDee saves the day by somehow copying Alice's design perfectly, and Elizabeth tells Dee about she and Patty's deceptive plan to make her take over the talent show. DeeDee doesn't get mad and they all share a hearty laugh. How nice.

But, wait! Alice and Ned are coming home early! Now there's no time to replace the broken vase! Jessica is forced to come clean about the party, the broken washing machine, and fire in the kitchen. Alice and Ned respond by grounding her for a month and giving her a stern lecture.

Haha, just kidding, no. They don't do a damn thing. Ned figures that Jess "has probably punished herself enough" and they drop it. No punishment whatsoever, except Jess has to pay to replace the vase. Note that any money Jessica has comes from her allowance...which comes from her parents. So Alice and Ned are essentially paying to replace the vase. Genius parenting. Now I see why Jessica is such a well-rounded, responsible young lady.

Oh, you thought this was over? Not yet! We still have the talent show! The talent show goes off without a hitch, and Bill even asks DeeDee if they can rekindle their relationship. Dee agrees, but tells Bill that they have to take it slow. But wait!  The talent show isn't over just yet! Todd gets onstage and recites a depressing poem. Elizabeth knows now that something is definitely wrong, and Todd breaks the bad news: he's moving to Vermont! I'm heartbroken, really, I am. More on Todd's tragic news in our next story, #23 Say Goodbye.

Moral of the story: don't drop everything you care about to focus on a relationship. Being super clingy and not having your own interests is a major turn-off, and you should never be fully emotionally dependent on another person. Wow...that is actually a pretty good lesson. Well done, ghostwriter.

Checking in

Don't worry , I haven't abandoned the blog! (again). I have just been busy with the holidays and I will be doing my next glorious recap soon! The next recap is going to be Too much in love, which I have never read..so I look forward to reading about Bill and Dee Dee's relationship drama! I'm guessing that Elizabeth will intervene somehow, and Jessica will probably be in the B plot or making things worse for Bill and Dee Dee somehow. Psychic!

Special Christmas

It's almost Christmas, so I'm doing this book a little early (actually I just don't have the next book, Too Much in Love yet, and I'm bored. Shhh.).

Jessica appears to be doing some type of dance while squinting one eye, and the color of her shirt is a really icky shade of pink. Elizabeth has her standard barrettes, and both twins have these odd half-surprised, half stoned looks on their faces.
This is the first of many Christmas-times to come in SVH (and they're all in one junior year, in typical time-is-irrelevant SVH fashion). This Super Special takes place a few months after Todd has moved to Vermont (Say Goodbye ) and Todd is coming back to visit all of his friends and Liz for the holidays. For some reason, Elizabeth has to make herself a nervous wreck over "where she and Todd stand" and what to get him for Christmas. Gosh, even when we think Todd is gone, they find some way to include Liz and Todd drama.

But there's really no reason to even bother with the tired Elizabeth and Todd Saga, because the real excitement is the news that Alice and Ted drop on their kids before Christmas break starts...
Suzanne Devlin is spending vacation with them!

For those who don't know who Suzanne is, she is the gorgeous daughter of some random rich friends of Ned and Alice that live in New York. Last time she came for a visit, she falsely accused Mr. Collins of sexually assaulting her, stole Elizabeth's lavaliere necklace, and was just all-around super fake bitch in Too Good To Be True.

When they get the news that the she-devil is back, Steve, Jess and even doormat Liz are all against her coming, and loudly object. The only excuse Ned and Alice have is that "she insisted". But there seems to be something more about Suzanne's visit then they are letting on.

The three of them dub themselves the "terrible trio" (SO lame) and start thinking of ways to keep Suzanne from coming and ruining their vacation. As if they don't get enough vacations. First plan is to have Elizabeth call Suzanne and try to convince her not to go. Suzy absolutely insists on coming out there and making things right, and gushes about how sorry she is, so that plan's a big fail.

The "terrible trio" comes up with another plan, they'll run Suzy out of town! And how will they do this, you ask? Simple, act like assholes towards her and ignore her until she realizes how unwelcome she is and leaves. Liz wimps out pretty quickly when she notices that Suzy seems sick, and is civil to her.
Jessica enlists the help of Aaron Dallas and others to torment Suzanne with mean "presents", such as notes with the letters all cut out from newspapers saying "SUZY DEVLIN GO HOME". Geez, guess she really rubbed some people the wrong way.

Jessica was in New York visiting the Devlins (and trying to steal Suzanne's boyfriend at the time, with bad results) during Suzanne's visit and never met her, but heard everything that happened while she was gone. Never mind that in the end of Too Good To Be True, Liz tells Jess nothing about what happened. Guess someone told her, 'cause even though she's never met the girl, she already hates her and is ready to make her time in Sweet Valley hell.

There's a dumb little side-story with all of SVH doing this "secret Santa" thing.  I've never heard of an entire school doing this. Maybe a class, but the whole school? Anyway, this results in some pretty lame displays and gifts, such as Enid's secret Santa Bill Chase having the whole swim team, (including himself), serenade her at the Dairi Burger. Or one of Lila's gifts, an issue of vogue with a ribbon around it left on her doorstep.

Oh, and Jessica is super sure that her secret Santa is sexy exchange student Hans (who?) but it's Winston Eggbert. Haha. Turns out Lila got Hans. Hans is a one hit wonder, never to be seen at SVH again.

A not-so-interesting plot twist, turns out Suzanne and Todd met in Vermont ,(where Todd now lives), when she was on vacation and they hung out for a little while. Todd has asked Suzanne not to say anything to Liz, and he's been acting weird around Suzy since she got there.

Elizabeth can sense that she and Todd aren't the way they used to be, and is ready to accept the end of their relationship. I'm sure we're all ready for that. She confides in good old Enid, and Enid's response is:

"Boy, it's kind of hard to imagine you and Todd having problems. You always seemed like the dream couple to me."
Really, Enid? No, seriously? Is she blind?

Our darling schemer Jess comes up with another plan, this time involving Aaron Dallas. Suzanne had left Aaron a message earlier, saying she wanted to take him out for lunch and apologize for her past behavior. Jessica gets Aaron to call her back and invite her to a fake party at an abandoned address in the middle of nowhere. Jess is sure this will send Suzanne running home. Liz has the standard Elizabeth Wakefield heart-to-heart with Suzanne, decides that old Suzy isn't so bad, and convinces Jess to back off.

 Butttt just as Jessica is about to cancel the Aaron Dallas scheme, she hears Suzanne and Todd chatting on the phone. She decides that Suzy only came out there because she knew Todd would be there, and she's planning to steal him from Liz! Jess is furious, because only she is allowed to steal men from her twin.

So the plan is back on!

Suzy drinks some champagne (!) with Todd and the "terrible trio". She then gets a call from Aaron telling her that she has to drive down to meet him. Suzy hesitates, but ends up taking the Fiat down to what she thinks is a party (or dance, or something? I wasn't paying attention). One minor detail here, Suzanne just happened to start taking a new medication that night. Since her doctor didn't answer her call, she assumes one drink with it is fine. But dun dun dunnn...it's not!

There's a call from the doc and all hell breaks loose. Suzanne can't even have one drink on this new medication or she might DIE! OMG. (side note-is that possible? To die from one drink mixed with a medication? I'm genuinely curious.) The Wakefields rush off to find her, and of course Jess moans about how guilty she feels. Sound familiar? Along the way we learn that Suzanne has Multiple Sclerosis and didn't want anyone to know because then they would feel obligated to forgive her.

We end up at the hospital, where Suzanne is recovering from a car crash brought on by the med and alcohol mixing. Suzy is mostly fine and she gets apologies from the twins and everyone else. Then something big happens-Suzanne doesn't have MS! She actually has some kind of central nerve infection that they mistook for MS. The Sweet Valley swim team sings 'Silent Night' and all is well. I cry tears of joy.

Oh and Todd Like Likes Suzy. And she Like Likes him back! Liz is totally cool with all of this, and everyone's happy. I don't think Todd and Suzanne's romance, (or Suzanne, period) ,are ever mentioned again.

There's also some kind of sorta-B story that ends with Jessica tricking Lila into passing out candy to kids dressed as an Elf (wearing a green trash bag, no less). I can't think of a worse punishment....Jessica is a truly evil person. Oh, the humanity!

Moral of Special Christmas? Christmas comes approximately 25 times a year if you live in Sweet Valley! Also, Christmas is the ideal time to apologize to all of the people you accused of sexual assault, stole from and lied to. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks, SVH!

Sweet Valley board game

So this is probably one of the most...inappropriate board games I've ever played. Yeah inappropriate, that's the word. Also pretty confusing. The point of the game, (I think?), is to get all of your "items". These "items" which are cards on the classroom spaces that have pictures of random stuff like a bicycle or dress on them. Every player has one big card that has a pic of the boyfriend and four pictures of the card items you're supposed to collect. There are up to four players, and you can be Elizabeth, Jessica, Lila, or Enid (yawn.). My friend picked Jessica and I went with Lila.

Confused yet? Yeah. Basically you just roll the dice and travel around and around the board in circles, picking up playing cards and item cards. The playing cards say fun things such as, "You let the maid have the day off." "Trade boyfriends with whoever you want" .

Me and my friend literally "switched boyfriends" about 50 times, because it seems like every card we picked up involved that. So much for variety. The boyfriends are Ken Matthews, Todd Wilkins, Bruce Patman and Winston Eggbert (wtf?).

Todd is of course on Liz's card, Bruce on Jessica's, Ken on Lila's, and Winston on Enid's. Clearly whoever designed this game didn't read the books, since Winston and Enid hardly even talked, let alone dated. Lila and Ken were never together as an actual couple, they just went to dances together once in awhile. (correct me if I'm wrong, my memory sucks sometimes)

But I guess it doesn't matter what guy's pic is on your big card, all that really matters is that you have a boyfriend card, (great lesson for young girls), and all of your item cards to win. I collected all of my item cards and won, probably because a few of the item cards were missing, and they happened to be the Jessica cards my friend would've needed. to win. But what matters is, I WON, dammit.

So the moral lesson in this game is that you NEED a boyfriend (doesn't really matter who!), to win at life I guess? And that people like me will blow money on anything SVH related, no matter how much it sucks.

Runaway #21

Yup the pic was taken on a pack of canned peas. I love my peas. Oh it feels so good to be back! I already started this re cap quite awhile ago, and now I'm gonna finish it. I'm even re-reading the book for accuracy. This is serious stuff, people.

According to this cover, "Jessica has had enough!". Yes, clearly Jessica has had enough of nice clean clothes. Just look at what she's wearing! That grey sweater just screams dirty! And this is the stylish twin? Other then that, Jess doesn't look half bad on this cover (she looks a lot younger then some covers where they have her looking 35).

So what Jessica has reallly had enough of is her twin Elizabeth's never-ending perfection. Fair enough, I think anyone reading these books either hates Liz, or strongly dislikes her most of the time. This plot actually started in the last book (Crash Landing!), when Liz got their parents a better anniversary gift then Jess, and just generally showed her up throughout the book.

Steve (borrrrring) is taking a break from school due to his depression over Tricia's death, and Elizabeth thinks that the best way to cheer him up would be to drag him to Cara's party. Who knows why, since he doesn't even like Cara. In another dumb move, Elizabeth insists that Jessica be the one to invite him..even though he's already annoyed at Jess for trying to set him up with Cara before.

Predictably, Steve gets his panties all in a bunch and basically accuses Jessica of being insensitive. Elizabeth has to come a smooth things over and convince Steve to go. Steve goes as Jessica's date (seems fitting after reading the semi-creepy exchange between them in this book), and neither of them are thrilled to be at this party.

BTW, There's a random moment (before the party), at the Dairi Burger with Cara and Jessica (I guess Jess is trying to convince Cara that Steve is cool or something...I don't care.). And in walks Nicky Shepard with his "gang". They're bad. They're real bad. They hang out at the Shady Lady bar across the street! There's drug rumors! Nicky drives a fast car and he has "rugged good looks". You know he's a rebel. He approaches their table, (who could resist a Wakefield??!), and charms Jess. Not hard, all he had to do was tell her that she was cooler then Liz.

Why is this important? Because Nicky shows up at Cara's party. Jess is being mopey because everyone isn't feeding her narcissism for once, and Nicky charms her once again. This time, they sneak off to be alone. Then they start hooking up, and one thing leads to another...ha! Kidding, kidding. This is Sweet Valley, folks. What they actually do is have a "deep" conversation. Nicky even says he "likes being sad". Deep.

Liz continues to be annoying and make Jess look bad by being..well herself. When Nicky and Jess dance, (the whole party is aghast by this display of rebellion), and leave together, Liz and Steve get parental. Geez they're so annoying. I mean Liz even discusses Jess's "behavior" with Mom and Pop Wakefield. I'd run away too, Jess. Oops, gave away the surprise ending!

The family continues to crap all over Jess, making fun of her when she tries to make dinner and treating her like an annoying child. Though to be fair, she is pretty damn childish. Also, there's a back story involving a custody battle and Ricky Capaldo (remember him?), I can't bring myself to care, and I refuse to torture readers with it. You're welcome.

So fast forward through all this crap, and we get to Nicky reaching his breaking point. His parents don't seem to like him much and he's got friends "in business" in San Francisco. He finallllllly Runs Away. About damn time. Surprisingly, Jess decides to follow suite. Did you see that coming? I'm shocked, I tell you. And you know Jess couldn't leave for the Run Away Express, (my snazzy name for the bus), without leaving a melodramatic note. Oh, and stealing some of Liz's clothes. For someone who says Liz isn't stylish, she sure seems to steal her clothes a lot.

So blah blah blah blah, Jess regrets it the second she boards the Run Away Express. Because who could live away from Sweet Valley and be happy? I know not living in SV is the main cause of my troubles. Liz and Steve track her down, and they reunite. Promises are made to treat each other better, and there's a sappy "home is where the heart is " type message. I'm touched. Jess writes a letter to Nicky, and promptly forgets all about him.

 We end with Miss Nosy, (Liz, if you didn't guess), speculating about Dee Dee and Bill's relationship. OMG are they gonna be okay?!?!?!? We find out in our next story, Too Much In Love

Morals. Don't one-up your twin sister. Don't hang out with bad boys, even if they are "ruggedly handsome". Umm...stay in school? Don't ignore your SVH blog for nearly two years?

If you stuck with me through that, thanks for reading and leave a comment. Your opinions on these issues matter!

Back from the dead!

Yes the Wide World of Sweet Valley is back! I am determined to finish this important series now that I have the time, because what could be a better use of my free time? Bring on the awful plots, the one-dimensional characters and everything else that embodies Sweet Valley!

All sarcasm aside, I'm genuinely excited to re-start this blog. I truly enjoy the Sweet Valley series and if readers like my re caps, then I'll do ALL of the various spin-offs (yes, that even includes the terrible Senior Year series. I'm a masochist.)