Friday, October 1, 2010
Playing with Fire #3
As you might have guessed, Jessica has finally gotten the privilege of dating Mr. Porsche himself, Bruce Patman.
Jess is so head over heels for Bruce that she pretty much becomes Bruce's lapdog. It actually gets to the point where she's doing his errands and sitting by the phone all night just in case he calls. He's got her whipped!
There's one point where Todd tells Elizabeth he's heard Bruce is getting "whatever he wants" from her sister. I always wondered exactly what that meant. Maybe a handjob at the most, since the Wakefield twins are virgins up until SVU.
Bruce is being a super douche, ordering Jess around and canceling plans on her. He also gets her to agree to steal a test for him, but she enlists Emily, the drummer from local band the Droids, and fat insecure Robin Wilson to do the dirty work for her.
Emily, like the rest of the school, decides to run to Liz and confess about the cheating. Liz hits the nail on the head when she asks
"Why are you telling me, Emily?"
Good point! Why do people that barely know Liz tell her their deepest secrets and seek advice from her? Oh, because she's the responsible twin that pulls her hair back with barrettes. That's right.
Throughout the book we see poor, overweight Robin Wilson desperately trying to fit in among all the perfect size sixes and following Jessica around like an over excited puppy. Jess might be Bruce's doormat in this book, but hey, at least she still has Robin to be her doormat!
Elizabeth feels bad for Robin and invites her along to a club where the Droids are playing . But oops, she invited Winston too! This is not so good because Jess has already tried to pawn Robin off on Winston (he inexplicably has it bad for Jess, who treats him like crap).
Winston, constantly described as a super dork, apparently is not into BBWs (that's "Big Beautiful Women for those not in the know) He explains to Liz:
"I get nervous around people who eat all the time"
Ok then, nice excuse for not dating the fat chick, Win.
They end up going anyway, and The Droids play at some run-down club. Soon after, the band finds out that what they thought was going to be a big break with a real band manager was just a scam. Turns out the manager just reaallllly wanted to do the hot 16 year-old lead singer Dana Larson and had no real intention of getting the band to the big time at all. To catch a predator, anyone? Where's Chris Hansen when you need him?
In other news, Bruce is still treating Jessica like a slave. Great quote right here:
"Tell me baby, who would you rather be with? Me, or a bunch of chicks with fat thighs jumping around on short skirts?"
Bruce, explaining to Jessica that cheerleading is a waste of her time and he's number 1. What a charmer!
Elizabeth hates the way Bruce is toying with her sister, (did she ever stop to think that Jess might deserve it just a teeny bit? After all the hearts she's broken? That's kinda what I thought..), she describes him to Todd as "an evil wizard, out to twist her into whatever he wants"
Do any teens use descriptions like "evil wizard" ? You know these books kinda screwed me up for high school. I was actually expecting high schoolers to all talk and act like SVH. Big disappointment.
Elizabeth does her usual snooping around and finds out that Bruce is cheating on Jessica! BIG shocker. Once she finds this out, she's had enough! Time for Liz to play captain save-a-ho (get used to it, it's gonna happen a LOT in this series)
When the whole gang is at Guido's pizza place for Bruce's 18th b-day, (after a lavish mansion party where he ignores Jessica the whole time), Bruce starts to tell Jess he has to go visit his "sick grandma" and he should probably take her home.
Sensing that he's full of it, Liz drags Jessica out of the pizza parlor to get a ride home with her and Todd. After some driving around Liz pretends to forget something so they have to go back..and what do you know? Bruce is still at Guido's-with another chick!
Jessica proceeds to pour soda all over Bruce's head and throw a pizza in his face after telling him off. I remember thinking that was totally bad ass when I was a kid, now I would've preferred if she kicked him in the nuts. Or maybe punched him? But maybe I'm being just a little violent.
The book ends with Jessica getting her pride back, and Robin Wilson telling Elizabeth that Jessica promised to nominate her to get into exclusive sorority Pi Beta. That's just cruel Jess! Why even tell her that? You know you would never let a non-size six into Pi Beta! Good old Liz promises to nominate Robin for PBA, because she knows Jessica never will, and this sets the stage for the drama of the next book, Power Play.