Rags to Riches #16

Roger looks asian here, and nothing like his last cover. Guess getting rich really does change you. Jessica looks appropriately evil, as usual, and that shirt is really not flattering.
So, Roger is now super-rich, in case you haven't caught that. When his mom died, it was revealed that his real dad is Paul Patman, Bruce's uncle who died in a plane crash. Paul was "seeing" Roger's mom behind his wife's back, and was planning to divorce his wife and marry her. Before he could do that he died, but he left a huge amount of cash to his then-unborn son.

Roger moves into the Patman's estate, and is thrown into the world of rich people, which apparently includes dressing up for dinners at home, and being super stuck-up at all times. Oh, and using 3000 different kinds of utensils. Poor old Rog isn't doing such a great job at this whole rich thing, and it probably doesn't help that his girlfriend, Olivia Davidson, has started acting even more insecure and emotional then normal.

Now that he's rich, Jessica is all hot for Roger. Who would've thought? There is a random barbeque at the Patman mansion and the whole freakin school is there, like at every party. During the BBQ, Jessica sucks up hardcore to Mrs. Patman. Mrs P makes it pretty clear she'd like Jessica to replace Olivia as Roger's date to an upcoming country club party.

It has to be said that Bruce's mom is just a horrible throughout this book. She refers to Roger's award-winning running as a "dreadful habit", and when he spills a few drops of wine on her at dinner, she loses her mind. It's all pretty clear now why Bruce acts like such an douche nozzle. His mother's attitude may also explain why he treats most girls he dates like crap. Hmmm.

But enough analyzing Bruce. In the sub-plot,  Regina has been acting kinda weird lately. Some of the girls have seen her hanging out with 'gasp' an older man! This, of course, starts a ton of stupid rumors about Regina dating an old man. Because he couldn't possibly be a family member or something.
Todd and Elizabeth go spy on her to find out what's going on for themselves, instead of just asking her. Even thought they're supposed to be her close friends. Okay.

There's a few more awkward encounters and sightings of Regina and her mystery old man, and more rumors crop up. Regina confides in-who else- Elizabeth, telling her that the older guy is a modeling agent and she's going to be on the cover of popular magazine Ingenue. For reasons I can't understand, this is treated like a huge secret. Lila finds out about the cover while on her own little spy-on-Regina mission, and swears she'll steal that cover.

This is so stupid because why would the magazine trash their already-shot cover to shoot some random chick? If they liked Lila so much, she would get an future magazine cover, not Regina's.
Just sayin....

Lila's plan fails and after listening to Mr. Important Agent gush about Regina, she's told that her face would look flat in photos and modeling isn't for her. Ouch.

Jessica starts in on her operation-destroy-Olivia plan, although she doesn't have to do much, since Olivia is great at making herself look bad already. All she really does is drop some hints about how the Patman's and Olivia just don't mix (true), Liv and Roger are growing apart, etc. Olivia is so insecure that that's all it takes to make her start second-guessing their relationship.

Elizabeth can't seem to figure out why Jessica is suddenly BFF with Olivia, even though it should be pretty obvious .Um, why would Jessica suddenly want to spend time with Olivia of all people? She's clearly never liked the girl. Her dislike for Olivia is even more obvious when Liz says she saw Liv downtown looking really bad (meaning depressed), and Jessica's reaction is to exclaim, "oh no what was she wearing now?!" Hint, hint Liz, Jessica is not hanging out with Olivia for altruistic purposes. Come to think of it, Jess doesn't do anything for altruistic reasons.

Olivia just keeps getting more insecure and clumsy, and finally she and Roger get into the Big Fight. Roger asks Jessica to be his date, after she convinces him that Olivia was just going to dump him right before the party so he'd be left without a date, because she's jealous of his money. To me, this sounds nothing like Olivia. Roger briefly thinks the same thing, but then decides to believe Jessica over his girlfriend.

Well no wonder Jessica manipulates and lies so much, seems like everyone in Sweet Valley is so naive that they'll believe anything! Roger finally gets the picture right before the party, when he overhears Mrs. Patman talking on the phone about how Jessica got rid of Olivia for her. He goes to the place everyone goes when they need help, the Wakefield house. He tells the twins about how he wants Olivia back. When Liz sees Jessica's obvious annoyance about this, she's all like oohh maybe Jessica wasn't really helping Olivia... Yeah... DUH!!!!!!

Roger and Elizabeth rush off to Olivia's, while Jessica stays at home and finds another date in under five minutes.
Rog and Liv have their little we're-back-together moment, (I'll spare you the details), and the Patman's grudgingly accept Olivia... kind of. Everyone oohs and ahhs over Regina's magazine cover at the party, and Caroline shows off old-timey sounding love letters from her new man Adam (why is Caroline invited to this party?) More about those love letters, and Caroline here.

Olivia's outfits; I just had to throw in some outfit descriptions since Liv may have the most random "style" in SVH. No wonder the Patman's didn't approve!

"Oversized army pants, sandals, and a bright-yellow T-shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Her usual bandana was twisted into a thin band around her forehead"

"The dress didn't have much shape to it, though it was certainly long enough. Olivia had designed a deep neckline that plunged in a vee, and had made a soft, gathered sash to cover the waistline. It wouldn't be half-bad as a bathing suit cover up. But to wear to the biggest party of the season?"
*side note-don't you love how every party/dance is the "biggest" of the year/season/month/week/decade?

"Her brown curls were held back by a silver-and-gold braided rope, and she was wearing a loose, man-sized cotton shirt belted over a flowered skirt."

Ahh Olivia. A true free spirit. I gotta admit I like her, despite my complaining. At least she's got some personality that's not totally sociopath-like, (talking to you, Jessica) or condescending (That'd be you, Liz!).

Moral of the story? If you get rich, stay with your hippie girlfriend and don't let an evil blonde manipulate you. That's pretty much all I got.

Racing Hearts #9

I always thought Lila looked so pretty on this cover. Roger looks appropriately pathetic, and has some of the biggest glasses of all time hanging on his shirt.

This book is kind of like Heartbreaker, except the pathetic boy in love is poor Roger Barrett, who is literally poor. He even has to work a after school job! Omg! His mom is sick and his dad is a no-good drunk. Roger lusts after the gorgeous, rich Lila Fowler, who as you can imagine, wants nothing to do with him.
The poor guy even trips and falls on his face in the hall in front of Jessica and Lila. I can't think of two people worse to trip in front of.

Lila calls Roger "Bugs", because he "bugs her". Kind of a stretch, but alright.  Roger's BFF is Olivia Davidson, SVH's resident free spirit and weird-dressing artist. She has the hots for Rog, but he's too wrapped up in dreams of Lila to notice her. Elizabeth is the only one who knows about Roger's afterschool janitor job, because he works in her dad's office and she's seen him before. She actually manages to keep this a secret for a few books, she doesn't even tell Enid or Todd!
It would be THE worst thing ever if any of the SVH students knew about his job, because this is Sweet Valley, and teens aren't supposed to work as full-time janitors, if they work at all.

There's a big race coming up, (and a dance to accompany it, duh), the Bart. It's a big huge deal, and all the schools compete in the last race. The winner gets a full scholarship and major SVH popularity points. Everyone's at the first race to qualify for the big one, because these kids seriously go to every sporting event possible.

Elizabeth starts telling Roger he should join the race, because she sees him running like crazy all around school. Olivia agrees and they both start harping on him to run down to the field and enter. Roger isn't interested.
But then Lila decides to show off how much control she has over meek little Roger by convincing him to run in the race fior her.

Roger jumps at Lila's command and enters the race last minute. The always-adorable Bruce Patman is running in the race too, and finds it hilarious that Roger is racing.
"I guess this is what they mean by 'equal opportunity'. Even Bozos get to race."
Have you ever heard a high school boy call someone else a "bozo?".

Roger lets all of Bruce's B.S go right through him. Elizabeth sits on the sidelines wondering why Todd is in the race, since he never mentioned it to her. How did she not know? This is Elizabeth know-it-all Wakefield! Lila laughs at Roger from the sidelines and gloats about how he's going to lose. Oh Lila, you're so cold. Olivia silently fumes about Lila's cruelty, but is to scared of her to say anything.

Turns out Lila is wrong, because the race is won by non other than "bugs" himself, Roger. He comes in right before sore loser Bruce, who places second. Rog gets the hero treatment, and Jessica suggests to Lila that she should pay some attention to him since, "the boy who wins the race is going to be pretty popular around here. It wouldn't hurt to be seen with him."
As if they aren't popular enough.

Lila starts drooling all over Roger, but what she and everyone else doesn't know, is that Roger won't be able to enter the big official Bart race. He has a hard ass boss who would never give him time off for the race itself, let alone time off to practice. He doesn't tell anyone, probably because he's enjoying some attention for once, since SVH revolves around sports (yes, even track).

Lila tries getting Roger to hang out with her after school, but because of his demanding job and schoolwork, he has to keep turning her down. This only strengthens Lila's resolve to get Roger to ask her to the Bart dance.

Sub plot time! Jessica suddenly decides she would make an awesome lawyer, and asks her dad if she can work in his law office. She soon discovers that working in a law firm is not quite as exciting as she had thought. For some reason she seemed to assume she'd be fighting in court right away? Um, you know it takes a law degree to do that, right?

She's just about to quit, until she spots a hot guy working in the same buliding. Within a day or two, they're already meeting after hours to make out and dry hump on the copy machine. She tells Liz she's organizing her dad's office, but Liz knows her well enough to know there's no way that's true. Super spy Liz sneaks into the office and spots Jess and her guy sucking face.

But uh-oh, Rog happens to be mopping up on the same floor that Jess and her man are on, and Jessica sees him! Liz sees all of this, and rushes home to stop Jessica before she tells the whole world. Elizabeth is actually pretty cool here. She blackmails Jessica, telling her she'll tell their dad the real reason Jess is so eager about law if Jessica ever spills Roger's secret. Jessica agrees, but she's itching to tell Lila, because if Lila knew she was pursuing a janitor, she would DIE!

After this incident, Roger is totally stressing. He calls up Olivia, and confesses his awful secret.
"Go on, say it." Roger continued, "It embarrasses you to realize you're friends with a cleaning boy"
Come on Rog, this is Olivia you're talking to, not Jessica or Lila!

Of course Olivia is fine with it and thinks it's admirable that he's helping his family. Exactly. Yet Roger still thinks Lila is the girl for him. Sigh. He tells Olivia about how he won't be able to run in the race due to his tough schedule and unrelenting boss. He still hasn't told anyone else that, so everyone (including the coach and principal), think he's still in the running.

There's another little sub plot about a rumor involving the track coach leaving after this season, because he's  supposedly sick. Everyone starts thinking this is going to be his last time coaching for the Bart, and wouldn't it be nice if someone from SVH took home the trophy for him?

Jessica tells Lila she should have a retirement party for the coach after the race, since Roger couldn't possibly say no to an invitation for a party honoring the coach (oh, and the coach isn't even invited to this party. Nice). Jess can't wait for this party. She's planning on bringing her newest conquest, Dennis (the guy from the office) and casually telling everyone about Rog's past, so Lila is humiliated and has to go hide, and Jess and her new man get all the attention. And they say they're friends?

But before this delightful scene can happen, Roger boldly tells Lila that he's a janitor. She acts like a snotty bitch about it, of course, and Roger tells her off good, even bringing up the valid point that he doesn't like being poor anymore then she would. Go Roger!

But there's still the matter of the race. Roger goes to break the bad news to the coach, and surprise, the coach got a call from Roger's evil boss saying Rog can have time off to practice, and compete in, the Bart! The coach and Rog talk a bit more, and the coach tells him the rumors about him leaving/being sick, aren't true. Wow, guess Lila's party is really pointless now, huh?

Roger ends up winning the race and the scholarship, and Lila, fake as ever, throws herself at him again. Roger knows better this time, and blows her off. Doesn't this sound a whole lot like Heartbreaker? Whatever.
He finds Olivia, and kisses her passionately. Just like we knew he would.

Jessica's romance doesn't fare as well, turns out Dennis is only 15 (!) which is why he and Jess were limited to hanging out in closets together and he couldn't drive her anywhere. I really thought it was just because he didn't feel like springing for dinner at the Dairi Burger, since she was giving it away free already. Jessica could never be seen with a 15 year old in public, so she angrily dumps him. Within a day, she's over him.

Things wrap up with Jessica, Cara and Liz talking about Annie Whitman, who is "a girl watcher's delight" because she's in an ultra tiny miniskirt. Jessica comments "that girl's gotta hold the school record for most dates!" No, that would probably be you Jessica. There's some trouble coming up for Annie in the next book, Wrong Kind of Girl.